Living by Numbers
by Blehlove
Summary: The curse has been broken and Hatsuharu is equally as broken. He's left heartbroken after Rin realizes she can have a normal life outside the Sohma family.Hope is renewed when a chance encounter in Ayames shop brings Haru back out of his shell. Please R
1. Exactly what I need

Hello! This is the first Fruits Basket story I've written in years its crazy. I hope you give this story a chance and enjoy. I really appreciate reviews it only takes a few moment to leave one, dont be scared! I do not own Fruits Basket of course!

Chapter 1

The light was too much to bear. I hated the morning more that anything. Stupid ass light seeping through my blinds. My alarm clock is going off playing some annoying talk radio show saying 'Good Morning.' What the hell is so good about it? I hit the off button on the alarm and groan loudly before getting out of bed. I have to be at Ayame's shop in less than an hour; I had graduated a few months ago and was now working there. I liked Ayame and Mine and I liked the shop, a lot of interesting people came in. I take a shower and dress quickly into some black leather pants and a black sleeveless shirt that's more like a vest than anything. I put on my usual necklaces and boots and leave my apartment to walk the short distance to the shop. Too much is running through my mind, I feel like crap. Yesterday was Tohru and Kyo's wedding, it was a nice ceremony sure, but I was miserable. Everyone was paired up and happy, so sure of their lives. That's not what really got to me though, it was seeing _her_; Rin. She broke up with me five months ago, leaving me heartbroken and shattered. I had only been a shoulder to cry on, someone she could relate to when we were cursed. I loved her, hell I worshipped her and she left me for some other guy. Not being cursed anymore meant she could fuck any man she wanted to now. She had brought the guy she left me for with her to the wedding and it made me sick, I had to leave. The curse may be gone but the war I rage with myself is still there. 'Black Haru' still exists. I snapped yesterday, tore up my apartment, punched some holes in my walls, but most of the time I'm stuck somewhere in between, like there's another side to me, a grey Haru I guess. So now here I am lonely, lost, and pissed off.

I try to shake off my negative thoughts as I walk into Aya's shop. Don't want to scare off customers with my pissy mood. "There you are Hatsuharu; we were getting worried about you!" Mine is dressed in her usual maid uniform. "Sorry, set my alarm a little late I guess." She just smiles happily. "Hmm, are you sure you didn't just get lost on your way here?" I roll my eyes at Ayame's comment. It's not my fault I have a poor sense of direction but I really wasn't late because of that. I made sure to get an apartment near the shop so I wouldn't have trouble finding it. I take my place behind the register and flip through a magazine. "You left the wedding rather quickly yesterday. You should've stayed, Mine caught the bouquet!" Aya and Mine had been a couple for a long time now, I think even before the curse was lifted. I was surprised anyone could keep up with Ayame. "I had some thing's I needed to do, I couldn't stay for long." I can tell he doesn't believe me but he drops the subject nonetheless. "Well I'll be in back helping Mine with some designs, just yell if you need anything!" I wondered if they were actually working back there, best not to think about that, I'll just feel lonely again.

The shop is surprisingly very popular. Many different kinds of people come in. The majority of them are sexy looking women or men looking to buy their spouses something to spice things up. Sometimes there are innocent looking women who look like they feel uncomfortable, they're the ones who never ask for help and usually leave empty handed. Then there are always the men who enjoy dressing up in the outfits, they are by far the most _interesting_. Today is rather slow so far, most people are at work right now. I look up from my magazine when I hear a customer enter. Wow! It's a woman that looks around my age. She's pretty, beyond pretty. She has straight dark red hair that reaches the bottom of her shoulder blades and stunning bright blue eyes that are made even more noticeable by the porcelain color of her skin. She's thin and probably about a head shorter than me. She's wearing a pair of tight dark wash jeans and a white lace camisole. I can see the outline of a tattoo on her lower stomach through her thin white shirt. She seems like my kind of girl. I hadn't really paid much attention to women since Rin, well besides the ones in porno's, I am a nineteen year old man after all. I watch her wander around for a few minutes, browsing the shelves. She doesn't seem like she's embarrassed to be in here just slightly confused. Maybe I can help. I walk up behind her.

"Can I help you find something?" She jumps at the sound of my voice and turns to face me. I didn't mean to startle her. She's even more stunning close up. She looks up at me and smiles warmly. "Well yes actually. You see I need something for a costume party. My friend recommended this place." Her voice is soft and melodic. It takes me a moment to speak. "What exactly do you have in mind?" She chews at her bottom lip and shrugs her shoulders with a laugh. "I guess that's what I need help with, I have no idea." I speak before thinking like usual. "An angel." Her eyes widen for a moment and she cocks her head to the side in thought. "That could work!" I chuckle and lead her towards the racks of angel costumes. Ayame would be pissed if he knew I called them costumes; they were 'fantasies made real, or works of art.' She looks at each outfit carefully. "If you don't like any of the ones here we can custom make one for you." She shakes her head furiously. "I am not spending that much money on this stupid party." I chuckle at her. "Aha!" She takes one of the outfits off a rack and holds it out in front of her. Its one of the more _modest _outfits here, meaning it actually covers your ass and boobs but just barely. It's a flowy looking dress that stops a few inches before your knees and has spaghetti straps. A pair of large white feather wings and gold halo top it all off. "What do you think?" I was used to people asking my opinion but this time I was actually completely truthful. "You'll look beautiful in it." She grins and starts walking back towards the register. I begin to ring her up, taking my time, I don't really want her to go, it's nice to have a beautiful woman near even if she is just a customer. She hands me her debit card and I give her the receipt she has to sign. "Umm may I ask your name?" I stop bagging her clothes and look up at her. She smiles sheepishly at me when we make eye contact and I smile back. "I'm Hatsuharu Sohma, and you?" I'm incredibly pleased that she's asked my name. I probably would have been too shy to ask hers. "Keira Anami. Thank you so much for your help Hatsuharu." I finish bagging everything and hand it to her. "No problem and just call me Haru." She smiles and nods her head. She looks at me one more time before walking towards the door. "Hey Keira?" She turns back around to face me. I have no idea why I stopped her or even what to say. "Have fun at your party." She smiles but I see a flash of disappointment in her eyes before she exits the shop.

_Smooth move dip shit. _I sigh loudly and shake my head. I grab her receipt to put in the cash register and stop when I see something scribbled on the bottom. Her phone number is written with the words call me sometime at the bottom of the slip of paper. I smirk and chuckle to myself. _Maybe I've still got it in me_. I feel pretty cheerful for the first time in a long time. "Hatsuharu! Who on earth were you being so chatty with?" I should've known that Ayame would listen in. He's the nosiest straight man I know. Though I still kinda doubt his sexuality. "Just a customer Aya." I try to keep the annoyance out of my voice. "You recommended an angel dress, is that your fantasy Haru?" No keeping the annoyance out of my voice this time. I groan loudly. "No its not, I just thought that would look best on her." He rubs his chin thoughtfully. "She looked more like a leather clad kitten to me. There's still a few of those outfits left you know?" Hmm the image of her in a tight leather ensemble is a pretty good one. "I doubt anyone with a speck of dignity would want to wear that to a party." He shakes his head disappointedly at me. "You used to be a lot more fun Haru, you need to lighten up. Maybe an _angel _is exactly what you need." He walks back to the store room, leaving me with his so called words of wisdom.

Work goes by quickly; I had a short shift today. I don't really know what to do with my time anymore. I play a lot of video games and lie in bed and listen to music. But socially I've been pretty cut off, I should probably change that. Maybe I should give one of the family members a call. I don't really feel like seeing any lovey dovey couples though. Ayame and Mine keep the physical contact to a minimum at work thank God! I make it home relatively quick for me. Top Ramen is calling to me. I sit down on my bed and slurp at my noodles. My cooking skills don't go very far. I still have a picture of Rin and me on my bedside table. _Get over it dumbass_. I throw the frame out my window. I need to change; I need to move on like everyone else has. I want to be happy or at least relatively so. I don't want to be angry anymore. I need to start over, but I really don't know where to begin. I need one of those children's books; paint by numbers, but for life. _Living by numbers. _That sounds about right.


	2. Still Hope

Here is chapter 2! R&R pleeeeaaaseee! and thank you! Enjoy

Chapter 2

Thank you Jesus! It is cloudy today, so no annoying ass sun to blind me, I'd much rather put up with the rain. I wonder if Kyo still hates the rain, old habits die hard. What should I do today? I don't work on Saturdays. I did get my new video game in the mail yesterday; I could just spend the whole day playing the play station. I look over to my table and the receipt lying on it. Or I could call that cute girl. Do I have the balls to call her though? I've kinda turned into a wimp, a mopey, whiny, wimp. But my raging hormones might make up for that…possibly. In any case I guess I'll take a shower and get dressed. A hot shower has always calmed my nerves. Many times when I've gone 'black' a shower has been able to bring me back to myself. I get out of the shower and lazily walk around the apartment looking for something to wear. My clothes are all over the place. I decide on my red hooded sleeveless shirt and some tight black jeans. Ok now what to do? Breakfast sounds good. I pop a few chocolate toaster pastries in the toaster and I'm a slightly happy camper. I need to stop stalling and just get the guts to call already. _She _is the one who gave me her number, she wants me to call, so why am I so nervous? _Be a man damnit!_

I dial the number and press send before I can back out. It rings two times. "_Hello?" _I take a deep breathe. "Is this Keira?" I can hear water running in the background. "_Yes it is, who's this_?" I gulp and speak again. "It's Hatsuharu, from the store yesterday." She giggles, I smile at the sound. "_Wow I didn't know if you'd actually call. I was kind of feeling like a fool after I left_." Why would she feel foolish? "Why wouldn't I call?" Whatever sounded like running water had now stopped. "_Well uh you know. You're just so attractive and I didn't know if you'd want to waste your time on calling some weirdo you sold a dress to_." She thinks I'm attractive? Its strange hearing someone you don't knows completely unbiased opinion. I mean I'm happy she thinks I'm attractive because I was thinking the same of her. "So you're a weirdo huh?" She hears the amusement in my voice and laughs. "_For all you know I could be. I am glad you called though_." She sounds mischievous, I like it. "Why's that?" She's silent for a few moments. "_Umm…I don't know. Would you like to get some lunch or something sometime soon? I mean I know you don't know me but I swear I'm not some criminal or something_." I laugh at her rambling, she sounds nervous. "I'd love to. What are you doing today?" I'm desperate for some kind of human contact. Asking her on such short notice is kind of rude though I guess. "_Nothing! I'm free all day_." Her words are a little rushed she sounds excited. I guess I wasn't being rude after all. We agree on a little diner down the road from me and decide to meet there in a few hours.

Oh shit what the hell am I going to do? What will I say to her? When is the last time I've had a normal conversation with someone? Can I act normal? What if I turn 'black'? Can I even be 'white'? I don't feel like myself anymore, I'm different. Not as sweet and naïve as I used to be. Yuki always used to tell me I was too nice for my own good, well when I was 'white'. Can I be that way again? Do I want to be that way again? When the hell did I start thinking and worrying so much? I need to stop, I need to be calm. I breathe deeply and stretch my arms above my head. I wish Kyo was still nearby so I could challenge him to a fight. I know that would make me feel better. Maybe I should just take a nap or something until its time to leave so I don't over think things and do something stupid. I set my alarm to go off in two hours and lie down in bed; my thoughts thin to nothing as I quickly fall to sleep.

I jump out of bed the second my alarm goes off and stretch. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth again and run my hand through my hair until I get the desired effect. I grab my umbrella and walk the two blocks to the diner. I must have arrived early because she's no where in sight. I order an endless cup of coffee and wait patiently for Keira. It only takes about ten minutes for her to arrive. I run to the door when I see her disheveled appearance, she's completely soaked. "What happened to you?" I help her pull off her drenched jacket. She sighs loudly and brushes her wet bangs out of her face. She's still beautiful, maybe even more so. She's flushed and all her clothing is clinging to her. "It didn't start raining until I was about halfway here and I completely forgot about an umbrella. I'm sorry I must look like a total mess." I smile at her unnecessary apology. "You look great. Come sit down and I'll get you some coffee."

We sit down together and I order Keira a coffee. She's wearing a black and grey ruffled leopard print tank top it's really cute on her. Her jeans look incredibly uncomfortable, wet denim is not a fun thing to be wearing. "Thank you for the coffee." She smiles at me and takes a drink of her hot beverage. She sighs and closes her eyes as it fills her body with warmth. Who would've thought someone could make drinking coffee look sexy? Maybe I'm just extremely sex deprived lately. "No problem, you look like you could use something warm." She nods her head in agreement and smiles brightly. We decide to just split an order of cheddar fries and the waitress brings them to us a few minutes later. "So what did you do today before you came here?" I finish chewing my cheddar fry before I answer, I don't want to be rude. "Umm…just showered and took a nap, I'm not a very exciting person lately." I watch Keira poke at some fries with her fork, before she actually decides on eating one that doesn't have too much cheese on it. She's interesting. "Why's that? If you don't mind me asking. Have you just been in a funk lately?" I'm not annoyed by her curiosity. This is how you get to know people; you ask questions, even if they're personal. "I've been going through some pretty big changes in the last year and I'm just trying to learn to move on with my life." It sounded like a good answer to me, not too in depth. "That's funny, so am I." She grins at me and I find myself doing the same right back. What would she have to move on from? Has she had some great tragedy in her life?

"Why did you leave me your number?" I don't know why that question slipped from my lips but I always had the tendency to speak without thinking. I guess I was just curious as to why a pretty girl like her would want anything to do with me, a stranger. She tilts her head to the side and looks as though she's thinking her answer over carefully. "It was very unlike me to give a stranger my number; I've never done anything like that before. So I knew there had to be some reason other than your obvious attractiveness that made me do it. I think it may have been the look in your eyes…like you were drowning…like you were lost. I know how that feels. And maybe I thought that for some reason we could help each other. I was just _drawn _to you." I'm surprised by her words, I did feel like I was drowning I had for awhile now. Am I that easy to read? Or did this girl just see the same thing in me that she felt herself. "I know that probably sounds silly and stupid. And you're probably just thinking that I don't know you at all. So I'm sorry if I offended you." She must have taken my silence as a bad sign. In reality I just didn't know how she was spot on. "No, you didn't offend me. You're right I am…lost. Maybe meeting yesterday was fate." As stupid as it sounded to say 'fate'. I had seen enough to believe in it. Tohru meeting our family was fate or destiny whatever you want to call it. She had set so many things in motion and essentially saved all of us. Fate was a real concept to me. So maybe Keira walking into Aya's store yesterday was indeed destiny. I'm broken out of my reverie when I hear Keira laughing. She's mostly dry now. I cock my head at hear wondering why she's laughing. "How old are you Haru?" Why does she sound so amused? "I'm nineteen, why?" She just nods her head and smiles more widely. "We both sound like we're middle aged. Talking about fate and being so serious. I'm twenty by the way." She's right most people our age are talking about parties and celebrities, not being so serious. I decided to take our conversation in a more lighthearted direction.

"Do you work?" She nods her head. "I do, I work at a bookstore. I want to be a writer so being close to books makes me happy." A writer huh? She just keeps getting more interesting. Maybe she could meet Shigure some day. "What do you want to do Haru?" What did I want to do with my life? I didn't have the slightest clue. "I don't really know. I've never really had the chance to think about it." It was true; being cursed had limited my choices in life greatly. And now I had every opportunity to do something with my life, I could do anything. But what? What did I want to be? "Well maybe now you'll be able to think about it." She was right, I could think about it. I could have…a normal life. "It might take me a while but I want to figure something out…I want to do something." Keira smiles warmly and nods her head. "Maybe I can help you." She sounds shy but I can't imagine why. "I'd like that." And I really would. I think I might need someone to lean on for once. I want to move forward. We finish our coffee and fries in comfortable silence. I think I've made my first real friend on the 'outside'. I'm starting to think that there is still hope for the Sohmas to have normal lives, for _me _to have a normal life.


End file.
